I ran in the middle of the road, towards the dust, toward slow cart and women on bicycles, they rode to pasture to milk the cows. How my foul hands could do this? Did he die or not? I ran for a long time, and I was thinking along the way. I saw my mother's eyes, she was not shouting, just stood and watched, thoroughly in my kid’s eyes, with her blue eyes, Mom, do not look at me so it was not me, it were them, they, my fingers. They did evil. Mom, cut off my fingers! Mom, cut off, I beg you! Came to the gate, barely in a rash open it and mince to the garden, our big apple garden that borders with the rural kinder garden; I was not going to kinder garden, because on my first day there I stole a small metal toy iron, I really liked the thing and little me of six years old was accused of theft of the state property. In the right corner of the garden near the road ran into flimsy wooden toilet and hide there. Locked myself from inside, the sun sparkles-tickles through cracks, and my eyes sparkle, and I imagine as they are looking for me, like the entire village headed by my grandfather Tolik walk the streets and peeped into every crack, to find the small killer and bring to universal justice. I hear, as on the roof, on top, on the slate, slightly broken on both sides, sparrows are chirping. Shit, bitches, shut up! You will sell me out to rural community. Sparrows do not care. Stretch out in full growth, do not reach to the ceiling, start jumping to scare the chirpers. I could not reach them, pushed off the floor as hard as I could. Bucket with urine. In remote places we put buckets in the toilet. Chirpers are outside. Nerves are in the soul. If I just take dad’s air-rifle at home or just a good stick and kill this chirpers. Till the blood spurted I will beat them, sometimes missing, sometimes hitting them, anger will go off, sparrows getting scared of anger and giving themselves in captivity. But I would still smash them. Sparrows do not hear my internal threats and sparrows continue to chirp. It seems as even more. Like if they sing the song. I quietly, very quietly cease to compete, go down on the floor, sit down. Toilet, in fact, quite small, but it is still enough to lean on the one hand and stretch out in full length. My weight is 24 kg. Slender killer ...
All the best,
translated by iryna solovey (ukr version)